You Are Enough

I am no longer a Fox, but fully and completely a Carraway! Al Carraway-  here's to happiness with a companion! Still will be blogging. Still making videos. Recording audio this week for our newest video that we've been trying to get done for a while now. It's coming, I promise! I'm really excited for many reasons. One being, the topic. Any guess what it is? Two- being, did any of you noticed that I said "our" and "we"?
I definitely married above myself.  I strive to have as much faith as he does, and to be the example that he is. I'm confident that if others knew him, they would be askin him to give Firesides and not me. Seriously.

I am proudly, and far beyond excited, to introduce to you, Benjamin Carraway. Best friend. Companion. And husband. Here's to a life with no longer "I's" and "me's", but "our's" and "we's." 


It's funny, I never put thought into getting married until I got baptized. I joked saying I swallowed some of the baptism water, because quickly after then I had thoughts of, "Where's my husband?!" Haha. And exactly 4 years later, to the date, I got married and sealed. How's that for a baptism anniversary! A few short months after my baptism, Elder Krause and Elder Richardson gave me a lesson on Eternal Marriages- one of them said that in their Patriarchal Blessing their future wife is preparing from him right now. I decided right then and there that I was going to do that too. I knew the only way to do that is to become as close to the Lord and I possibly could. They also made me write a letter to my future spouse, which was a little awkward at first not knowing who he was at the time, but proved to be an awesome thing. It was the start of 2010 I did that, right before I would pack up my life into a 2-Door Alero Oldsmobile and drove across the country to UT, for who knows why at the time, where I would eventually meet him 3.5 years down the line. 

It wasn't until Utah that my life took a turn in a direction I didn't even know was a possibility for myself. The closer I became to my Savior and Father, (not just because of my future spouse, but out of pure joy and desire,) the more my I started doing things I never thought I could ever do. Not once has things gone the way I had in mind, which can be really difficult at times- you have those fleeting thoughts of if God truly cares about you, or if He actually listens to your prayers and knows you- but how grateful I am that they did not go the way I had in mind. Because they have been profoundly better.  Looking the way that I do and moving to Utah, I had it in the back of my head that I would never get married because of the looks and reactions I would get. But I knew that nothing should override my initial and prominent goal: to live and share the gospel. To love and live for my God. Never would I let what I didn't have get in the way of that. Never would I let a change of course take away from the unchangeable truth that if I were trying, I would be blessed. I would be taken care of, no matter what.

Life is hard. Strength wasn't as strong as I needed it to be some times. Times where it was so hard I would lay on my floor yelling at Him. Asking Him where He was. Telling Him I can't do this, whatever it was at the time. But my commitment was never wavering. Had I not made that promise to myself and to God, I'm not sure if I'd be where I am today, doing the things I'm doing.  Sometimes, forcing myself to use this faith that I didn't think I had, but using every bit of me to never lose sight of the faith that I did have. Sometimes grasping to it with every bit of energy that was left, sometimes it seemed by my fingertips and someone was pulling me by the ankles in the opposite direction. Holding on to blessings I had received and what I had read in the scriptures. That if I put Him first, if I put God first, everything else would fall in to place. That I would be blessed from my efforts of trying, not perfection. That I would be taken care of with what I can do, and not compared to someone else’s strengths or weaknesses. Just mine. That I wouldn't know and strengthen if I didn't experiment with His word. That I wouldn't be helped if I didn't act. If I didn't do. The only option to me, was to keep going. To keep going with Him. Every single time, being shown that His ways are greater. That with Him can I overcome anything that comes my way. And each and every single time it would lead me to something better in my life, that wouldn't have been there if I didn't push through, have those hard times, and trust. Each time, my love for Him would grow. I would strengthen. I would receive. And have a continuance of comfort and happiness. The only way I have come to know how great our God is, is never leaving Him during my times of weakness, times of un-sureties, times of anger and lack of understanding. With Him am I truly happy. The more I served the happier I was.  The more I tried, the better I became. The more I was helped, the more I wanted to share. I blogged with no shame or fear of my trials and conviction to my Father in Heaven. I started traveling to speak at firesides several times a week, while working full time. I got endowed in 2012 and just 2 weeks after I did, I started working as an ordinance worker in the Provo Temple on the only night I had free for myself. And the way the story goes for me, it wasn’t until I was doing everything I could and magnifying all the opportunities that arose-whether they were planned and wanted, or by surprise and

doubted- that I met him. That I met Ben. My companion. My best friend. My biggest support.   

“...I am finally becoming the person Heavenly Father wanted me to become all along. My best self meant for you. In 1 week I leave behind my family. In 1 week I leave behind the only way of living that I know of...everything is so different, and I have to just continue to be led by the spirit no matter how hard or lonely it is. ...I wish I knew you right now. I wish you were here with me as I go through all of this...When you read this our wait is finally over because it seems so far away right now. ...But I'm glad you are here now. I'm glad that I never have to be alone again.” (Letter To Husband, 2010)

Life is hard, but oh so beautiful. Forget not whose hands we’re in. Forget not that you are not meant to just ‘get by’, but to give you the absolute best ever created. Forget not that His ways are always better and how comforting to know He knows us better then we know ourselves. Never should it be about what you don’t have or haven’t gotten yet. Don’t let it be about what you don’t know, or can’t do. Embrace what comes your way, especially that which you didn't initially invision for yourself.  Trust. Allow Him to show you how great our God is. Do not be ashamed or embarrassed. And more then anything, do not think you cannot do this. Do not let giving up be an option. Focus on Him, knowing that you will be blessed with the best ever created. What you know and what you have is enough for His help and guidance. You are always worthy of your God’s love. Prioritize. Turn to Him. Experiment. Act. Focus. Commit. Try. Hold on. Embrace and receive.

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For those of you who don't know how we met, watch this video, HERE.
The both of us started a family blog as well, so if you'd like the behind the scenes, everyday kind of stuff, updates on us, follow our blog: WaysOfTheCarraways.blogspot.com ! AND! You can watch our Wedding Video here:

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Be Not Moved

My schedule the past year-ish has been busy speaking at least twice a week to the youth. I absolutely loved last year’s theme, Arise & Shine Forth! But I have to express the excitement I have to base my talks on this year’s Youth theme, Stand Ye In Holy Places, and Be Not Moved. Going from Arise, to Stand! 

I can't help but think of all that has happened since joining the church. There's not a post on my blog of what I had been through since baptism, but if you have been to one of my Firesides you'll know that most of the stories I share are those difficulties that followed after. I do that for a reason. My message is not & will never be, that with the gospel your life will be perfect. Immune to trials.  It is a message of continuing.  A message of overcoming. Of faith. Endurance. Taking confidence in Heavenly Father's promises. 

I was not looking for the church. The church found me, and all I did was just follow happiness. That happiness led me to baptism. Which then led to loss of friends. Family. I recall perfectly my best friend, my Dad, telling me he didn't want to talk to me anymore. He made me pick. This church, something I had just barely found out about weeks ago, or Him.  And I thought… what an easy decision, for a difficult situation. I already choose who I wanted to follow, didn't I? That's what happens when you get baptized. I already recognized that this happiness, one that I didn't even know existed, a real & lasting happiness, only came from the Gospel. So I decided, right then and there, I didn't need time to think about it.

Since then, I have been through trials that had made me feel completely alone. I have been prompted to do things that I didn't understand. Things that were incredibly difficult. Since then, I have been through things that made me feel like I didn't fit in. Times were I felt as though my prayers were not being heard. Times were I felt like my strength ran thin & I didn't know how much more I could take.

And each time I was shown that I could keep going and do so with strength & guidance because of this Gospel. Because of Christ. Heavenly Father. Each and every single time I was shown that even in the hardest of trials, I could be consumed with peace & this physical love that He has for me. 

During my devotionals, I speak on thosetimes because you need to know that,that happiness, through everything, has only gotten stronger! 

Each time I have been blessed with something better then what I had in mind. Each time over coming something I never thought I could. Each time learning much. Growing. Becoming better.

My joy is not just full, but overfilling! OH how great is our God! How great is what He has in store for us! How great are our blessings & happiness when we turn to Him and simply try.I am overwhelmed with how great and how very true & real Heavenly Father’s promises are. When things are hard or not going as I had planned, it becomes fun to see how they will work out, because they always will & it will alwaysbe better when we turn to Him. When we keep going. When we hold tight to what we are taught.

How grateful I am to be a member of this church, for what we are a part of and what is asked of us! Making covenants open the gates to an outpouring of blessings in our life & should never be viewed – in any degree- in a negative way. They should not be approached apprehensively, but rather soughtafter & embraced with excitement to partake more fully & receive the best ever created & prepared for us- not just in the eternities, but here- daily- in mortality.

How grateful I am for all the times I made the decision to choose the Gospel. All the times I made the decision to stay with its teachings- commandments- covenants.  The decision to trust. The decision to stand.  How grateful I am I made the decision to choose God. His plan. His ways.

How grateful I am for Heavenly Father’s promises. For the Temple. For covenants. Commandments. For this gospel.  I find myself overwhelmed with the direction my life has taken. How grateful I am with all the talents & opportunities that I have been given.  For receiving more than I am able to bear- in abundance- when I still have an immeasurable amount of room for growth & improvement, complimented with my imperfections & shortcomings. How grateful I am for this love that He has for us that I do not fully understand. OH how great is our God! 

Do not do anything that will stop you from receiving more fully the best ever created. Fear not. Forget not who’s hands you’re in. Choose. Keep going. Overcome. Grow. Embrace. Receive. Stand. And be not moved. 

 
Be sure to subscribe to LDS Living Magazine  and look for  Mariama Kallon and I on the cover of their March/April issue! 

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My Testimony Dare:

GET THIS BLOG POST AS AN MP3! Click Here to listen to my Voice Recording of this post!


September 14th I turned 24, and with Birthdays comes Birthday Wishes. The one thing I wanted most was to have the spirit be spread, but I suppose that's not any different then how I feel everyday haha. The idea just popped into my head was to just make my Profile Picture on Facebook saying share their testimony as a status, and post it on my wall. Simple enough, eh? Who would have thought...

Before 10:00 am I had hundreds of notifications of people sharing their testimony as a Facebook status.  I tried to follow as many as I could but it spread and shared faster then I could keep up. Spreading to people I didn't know. Spreading to different states. different countries. The ripple effect is almost impossible to comprehend how far it truly traveled- but surely it traveled outside of the maybe 10 shares I originally thought I'd get.

I got emails and messages from those I will probably never meet here. Emails and messages, one after another, for 3 days straight. Stories and testimonies and Thank Yous from all different ages, from all different backgrounds, in all different spots in their life. Those who are strong in the church. Those who are quiet about church. Those struggling. Those inactive.  Those who are not members.

"Happy Birthday (even though you're a stranger and I've never met you.) I just wanted you to know that I've spread your bday wish to all my fans/followers/friends/family. Hope it's a great one!”

"I Love my father in heaven and I have a testimony that through the Book of Mormon the fullness of the gospel has been restored on this earth. I have a testimony that the Lord does answer prayers. I love my Father in Heaven and I am grateful for this opportunity that Al Fox has given me. I also would like to bare my testimony that if you humbly want to know the truth of the Book of Mormon turn to the book and the lord, Not your neighbors or friends, and the lord will testify to you that it is true. Through Jesus all things are made clear. Amen."

 "I don't often post my beliefs... but Al Fox's birthday wish was to see it here. I believe in a God who knows me perfectly and loves me anyways. He shows that love in many ways, including the simple things, like having a beautiful sunset at the end of a long day, or through other people, like when He sends a friend to stop by and spend time with me. He sent His son Jesus Christ to live as a perfect example for me to try to emulate, but who also died so that I can be forgiven of my imperfections. I feel His love especially as I communicate with Him in prayer and learn of Him through studying the scriptures, as well as when I am the friend that is sent to others."

 "Just wanted to personally thank you for the wise birthday wish. I'm a returned missionary as of two weeks ago, and your birthday wish certainly inspired me to do more and be better" 

“Hey I know you don't know me but ____ is a mutual friend I was wondering why all these testimonies were all over my Facebook news feed and they made me think a lot..”

An indescribable blessing.  What a strength. What an impact. How powerful.

I couldn't help but think what a small idea it started as. I couldn't help but think back to when I started making Youtube videos and thought, "this is a silly idea, no one will watch these." Same with this blog. Why? Well, who am I? I am just one. I am silly, and sometimes awkward and am just like anybody else.

I couldn't help but think back to the day I decided to get baptized- was the exact day my Elders were going to drop me as an investigator. Why? Well, they thought, what they were doing wasn't making a difference. They thought, that perhaps someone else could do it better. Maybe someone with who read the Book Of Mormon more then they. Or maybe someone with a stronger testimony. Maybe someone more outgoing. More confident. More of anything what they weren't.
Little did they know.
Little did they know that just by them, being them, that I have this happiness. That I am who I am now, doing the things that I am doing.

Little did I know, my small and silly thoughts, complimented with doubts and discouragements, could turn in to what it has- and yet still have that profound and unknown ripple effect.

And little do you know.
Little do you know the impact that you profoundly have on those around you, and those you will never meet, just by you- being you.  That is, hands down, the best thing we could ever be! Ourselves!

Heavenly Father loves his children so dang much. The biggest goal that He has, is to have us return. And if you think He isn't going to use us to help, you're wrong. Of course we are being used. Of course He needs us. Of course we are different, to help different people in different ways, so perfectly for Him in ways we cannot understand now.  All we have to do is try. That's it. Just try.

You cannot stop yourself. You cannot hold yourself back. You cannot get discouraged. Doubtful. Judgemental to yourself, even. You are here, you are you, created by an Almighty being, perfectly, for this exact time. In your exact spot. Doing the things you find yourself doing. All for greater reasons. Perfectly. 2N 2:24 'All things have been done in wisdom of him who knoweth all things.'

Do not be ashamed of who you are. Refrain from thinking what you are doing doesn't make a difference. Refrain from thinking someone else could do it better. Refrain from thinking you are not being supported. From thinking you are inadequate in any degree. And forget not, the vision our God, our Father in Heaven has for us. Personally and individually, for you. Forget not that greater are the things He has in store for us to do and become. "How is it ye have forgotten that the Lord is able to do all things?" 1 N 7:12

Keep going, and do not stop. Stay strong. Stay faithful. Spread the spirit. Use The Internet For Good.
Doubt not but be believing. 

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Worsd of Mormon 1:7 "I do this for a wise purpose; for thus it whispereth me according to the spirit of the Lord which is in me. And now, I do not know all things; but the Lord knoweth all things which are to come; wherefore, he worketh in me to do according to his will."
2 N 3:24 do much good both in word and in deed, being an instrument in the hands of God, with exceeding faith, to work mighty wonders, and do that thing which is great in thesight of God.
1 N 9:5 ..the Lord hath commanded me...for a wise purpose in him, which purpose I know not. But the Lord knoweth all things.."

3 yr. Anniversary! "This Is Happiness"; NEW Video

I just reached my 3 year anniversary of being baptized to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints! Holy cow! I made a video with the Elder that baptized me, Elder Despain! Click here to watch my newest video, "This is Happiness; Baptism Anniversary." And be sure to 'share' it! That's what they are meant for. You never know who needs to hear it, you never know who you could help by those small and simple things. #UseTheInternetForGood

Since joining the church there has been a lot of hard times. A lot of changes. Trials. That's life. But because of getting baptized, because of the Gospel, because of Christ, not once- not even for a second, did that happiness go away. Not only that, but it got stronger, and stronger!

I feel like there is just so much that could have been said in the video that was made that wasn't. The Gospel is hands down, the biggest blessing there ever is. That this is the happiest I have ever been. And to know that, the best thing we could ever be, ever- is ourselves. That if we feel that Heavenly Father isn't using us to help His children, you're wrong. He loves His children so much, that He will, and is using your desires and efforts to profoundly help others and have us not even realize it. Our talents and our personalities are perfectly given to us for incredible reasons we may never understand.
As I look back on the past 3 years I am just amazed at where I am in life, the things I am doing and the person I am becoming. I am speechlessly grateful that we have a Father in Heaven that loves us and is there just to give us the best there is. It's a pattern in my life where I am asked to do something I don't know how to do, and even sometimes I don't really want to do. But what a blessing it is every single time when I follow through. To see the blessings and accomplishments. I am incredibly grateful things did not go the way that I had in mind, because things have been profoundly better.  I moved to Utah and I travel around the state giving Firesides, I make videos, and started writing a book, and I'm doing all of these incredible things. And I only say that because, I know there is more that I can be doing. And I know that the things that I am doing, I could be doing better at. But I know, that just by us trying, you will end up in places you never would have thought of. Doing things you never could have dreamed of. And becoming the person Heavenly father has wanted you to become all along. And what a feeling that is! All He asks of us is to turn to Him, and to try.

Take pride in who you are. You have God as your Father. You are great. And you will do great things.

Be sure to watch my video 'Continue' where it is all about receiving the best ever created, and pushing through those hard and trying times to receive something better. To receive the Best. And to know we are never shortchanged from the Best in anyway. Finding joy in the journey.

Watch my Dear Elder video, here. A Thank You video to Elders, for their efforts. "I am One of those Rescued."
Click here to read a letter I had to write to the Mission President right after my baptism, of what it is that caused me to get baptized.
Click here to watch a behind the scenes of us editing "This Is Happiness"
Click here to watch the video with Elder Despain, "This Is Happiness."
Follow me on Twitter. Email me to book firesides or with questions/comments.
I love hearing from you, you help me to keep going!
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