You Do Matter

 I was asked a very general question a few weeks ago, general questions are usually hardest to answer. I was asked, with all of the experiences I've had with speaking and blogging and whatever else it is that I do, what have I learned?  I thought, holy cow, I've learned something new everyday that I consider vital to know how can I answer that?  With all the places I travel to in just 1 week alone- all of the opportunities that arise in just 1 week alone- and in just one week alone I speak to and meet hundreds and hundreds of people- I have been blessed with reoccurring humility to do what I do and to meet who I meet- how am I supposed to give a simple answer to this? I was pondering and reading through my journals on everything I've felt and struggled with and learned, but the answer had to come and be in a form of a 10-minute sacrament talk. As of late it hasn't been often that I have been in my own ward, and with moving soon it was a very great possibility that this was the last time I'd be in the ward, and for sure the last time I'd be able to speak to them. I thought, if this is the last time I ever get to speak to them, if this is the last thing I ever get to say, and this is the last time some of them may ever see me, what do I want them to know most? 

 
My answer came from a very powerful experience I had just a week or two previous. I was supposed to speak on a night that I had the worst migraine you could imagine. It brought me to tears. I couldn't even think straight let alone go and speak for an hour. It was absolutely terrible. I was praying to Heavenly Father, more so of a scream and yell at Him than it was speaking, saying I couldn't this, there's no way, not tonight, not feeling like this-but- if He wanted me to, I knew that He would help me. The answer didn't come clear, but the next thing I knew I found myself driving to Payson Canyon to a girls camp. I was talking to Heavenly Father all the way there and I received an answer. An answer that came so clear it was like I was reading a billboard. An answer that came so powerfully I physically felt it. I was consumed. I was taken over. I was crying, except this time it wasn't because of my head but because of my answer. Heavenly Father answered my prayer saying, 'Al, you go tonight...you go and you make sure that you tell those girls...how much I love them. Al, go to those girls and tell them...that I notice them. That I'm listening.  You make sure you tell those girls that I'm right here." It came so clearly that I responded out loud saying, 'Ok, I'll tell them!'
Headache dispersed. Motivation, love and urgency took over. 

My favorite part about speaking is two-fold. First part is sitting right before I'm about to get up and speak- and looking out at everyone.  I love it. Opening hymn- scanning over all those who come and every time I am able to feel just a sliver of what God feels for them. Just a quick, small glimpse to how He sees them. And it's overwhelming. It's powerful. It's beyond humbling. Next is after speaking. Every time I speak I stay and I meet people. I love hearing from them. I love hearing their testimonies. Their struggles and trials. Their losses. Their gains. Their opportunities. Blessings. Miracles. I love every bit of it. I love meeting those who feel that they are not where they want and should be. I love meeting those in the middle of a hard time. I love meetings those just got through a hard time. Those who are doing the right thing on the right path. I love meeting those who are crying. Those who cannot bring themselves to even say anything to me but just hold my hand and look me in the eye and I can just feel. I love it. I love everyone. That is where my strength comes from. That is where my inspiration comes from; is you. And having said that…

What I have truly come to really learn and feel and know to be very true is that God does care. That no one goes unnoticed. What I have truly come to learn and re-learn, and feel and re-feel, is you do matter. You, personally and individually make a difference, you do! What you are doing does not go unnoticed. 

I have met a ton of people- different people, different situations and experiences, sure- but- the same Christ. The same Heavenly Father. The same love.  He does not love me more or less than He loves anyone else. He does not love anyone else more or less than He loves you. No matter who you are, no matter where in life you are, no matter what you've done, or are not doing- no matter your sins or accomplishments- no matter income or calling- on or off the path-that love that He has for you- personally and individually you- is always there. Always strong. Always real. That love that He has for specifically you, never waivers. His love for you never dims. I have felt that so consistently and so overwhelmingly that I can’t adequately enough express this into words to describe. 

And that is what matters most. If this is the only time you will hear from me...if this is the only thing you know... I plead with you to make it that God loves you.  God loves you, personally and individually you, so much! It's real. It's powerful. And you canfeel that- always! Comfort will alwaysbe there; Christ will always be there! And I love that. It’s real. This is real. Heavenly Father is real. And I don’t know what I’d do without Him. And I’m grateful I don’t ever have to.  

Turn to Him. Feel. Re-feel. Strengthen. 

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Refocus.

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I would feel so guilty if I did not post this extreme gratitude I have for My Father in Heaven. For the Book of Mormon. For how I feel this exact second. To remind and to share that this is real. He is real. What we are a part of is real! And it is so great.

Today I finished reading the Book of Mormon for the 5th time just this year. But before even finishing, I was completely consumed with this overfilling love & gratitude. I was completely overcome with the spirit. Spiritually, yes. But also, and more noteworthy, it is even a physical thing. Real.

I feel unstoppable. Nothing else matters. No trial. No 'inadequacies'. Shortcomings. Frustration. It is completely swallowed up in this Love that I physically feel between My father in Heaven, and myself. And the only thing that matters is exactly that. Love. A real love.  A personal & individual love, that is incredibly real, coming directly from God.  Coming from Christ.

The past several days there has been a handful coming to me flustered by their desires not matching up with their efforts. Trying but not overcoming. Temptation. Busyness. How quick we are to get discouraged. Distracted.

How is it that we lose sight of that so easily? That personal love directly from God.  A truth so powerful & motivating that causes us to literally overcome and conquer all. To overcome the world, in fact. 

I don't have a specific answer for you. Lots of reasons. Different per person. But this much I do know, life is hard. I hope you do not get the wrong impression of me. I am no different then you. Fifth time this year, simply because that is what I need. I take the Book of Mormon with me everywhere I go because I rely on it every day. That is where strength comes from. I cannot do it without it. I cannot do it without Him.

Lucky for us we don't ever have to. If we but take advantage of what we have been given.  Forget not whose hands we are in. Hold on. Even if it seems at times it is by your fingertips as someone is pulling you the other way by your ankles. Hold on tightly to that what you do know, even if it seems like it is not much. 

Refocus. Prioritize. Hold on. Strengthen. Overcome. Conquer. Forget not what matters most. Forget not that this is real. Forget not that He is Real. That He loves. Individually. Personally.  Forget not, that you can feel that. Even, and especially with those things that we struggle with.  Your prayers have been heard.  In His strength you can do all things. (Alma 26:12) And I am incredibly grateful for that. I am incredibly grateful for the power that comes from Reading the Book of Mormon. Profoundly grateful to feel that love Heavenly Father has for me. Speechlessly grateful to know that He wants us back. All of us. And He will not do anything to prevent that from happening. He is there. Helping. Always. Refocus. God first. Strengthen. Conquer.

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God is for us, so it doesn't matter who is against us

My Testimony Dare:

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September 14th I turned 24, and with Birthdays comes Birthday Wishes. The one thing I wanted most was to have the spirit be spread, but I suppose that's not any different then how I feel everyday haha. The idea just popped into my head was to just make my Profile Picture on Facebook saying share their testimony as a status, and post it on my wall. Simple enough, eh? Who would have thought...

Before 10:00 am I had hundreds of notifications of people sharing their testimony as a Facebook status.  I tried to follow as many as I could but it spread and shared faster then I could keep up. Spreading to people I didn't know. Spreading to different states. different countries. The ripple effect is almost impossible to comprehend how far it truly traveled- but surely it traveled outside of the maybe 10 shares I originally thought I'd get.

I got emails and messages from those I will probably never meet here. Emails and messages, one after another, for 3 days straight. Stories and testimonies and Thank Yous from all different ages, from all different backgrounds, in all different spots in their life. Those who are strong in the church. Those who are quiet about church. Those struggling. Those inactive.  Those who are not members.

"Happy Birthday (even though you're a stranger and I've never met you.) I just wanted you to know that I've spread your bday wish to all my fans/followers/friends/family. Hope it's a great one!”

"I Love my father in heaven and I have a testimony that through the Book of Mormon the fullness of the gospel has been restored on this earth. I have a testimony that the Lord does answer prayers. I love my Father in Heaven and I am grateful for this opportunity that Al Fox has given me. I also would like to bare my testimony that if you humbly want to know the truth of the Book of Mormon turn to the book and the lord, Not your neighbors or friends, and the lord will testify to you that it is true. Through Jesus all things are made clear. Amen."

 "I don't often post my beliefs... but Al Fox's birthday wish was to see it here. I believe in a God who knows me perfectly and loves me anyways. He shows that love in many ways, including the simple things, like having a beautiful sunset at the end of a long day, or through other people, like when He sends a friend to stop by and spend time with me. He sent His son Jesus Christ to live as a perfect example for me to try to emulate, but who also died so that I can be forgiven of my imperfections. I feel His love especially as I communicate with Him in prayer and learn of Him through studying the scriptures, as well as when I am the friend that is sent to others."

 "Just wanted to personally thank you for the wise birthday wish. I'm a returned missionary as of two weeks ago, and your birthday wish certainly inspired me to do more and be better" 

“Hey I know you don't know me but ____ is a mutual friend I was wondering why all these testimonies were all over my Facebook news feed and they made me think a lot..”

An indescribable blessing.  What a strength. What an impact. How powerful.

I couldn't help but think what a small idea it started as. I couldn't help but think back to when I started making Youtube videos and thought, "this is a silly idea, no one will watch these." Same with this blog. Why? Well, who am I? I am just one. I am silly, and sometimes awkward and am just like anybody else.

I couldn't help but think back to the day I decided to get baptized- was the exact day my Elders were going to drop me as an investigator. Why? Well, they thought, what they were doing wasn't making a difference. They thought, that perhaps someone else could do it better. Maybe someone with who read the Book Of Mormon more then they. Or maybe someone with a stronger testimony. Maybe someone more outgoing. More confident. More of anything what they weren't.
Little did they know.
Little did they know that just by them, being them, that I have this happiness. That I am who I am now, doing the things that I am doing.

Little did I know, my small and silly thoughts, complimented with doubts and discouragements, could turn in to what it has- and yet still have that profound and unknown ripple effect.

And little do you know.
Little do you know the impact that you profoundly have on those around you, and those you will never meet, just by you- being you.  That is, hands down, the best thing we could ever be! Ourselves!

Heavenly Father loves his children so dang much. The biggest goal that He has, is to have us return. And if you think He isn't going to use us to help, you're wrong. Of course we are being used. Of course He needs us. Of course we are different, to help different people in different ways, so perfectly for Him in ways we cannot understand now.  All we have to do is try. That's it. Just try.

You cannot stop yourself. You cannot hold yourself back. You cannot get discouraged. Doubtful. Judgemental to yourself, even. You are here, you are you, created by an Almighty being, perfectly, for this exact time. In your exact spot. Doing the things you find yourself doing. All for greater reasons. Perfectly. 2N 2:24 'All things have been done in wisdom of him who knoweth all things.'

Do not be ashamed of who you are. Refrain from thinking what you are doing doesn't make a difference. Refrain from thinking someone else could do it better. Refrain from thinking you are not being supported. From thinking you are inadequate in any degree. And forget not, the vision our God, our Father in Heaven has for us. Personally and individually, for you. Forget not that greater are the things He has in store for us to do and become. "How is it ye have forgotten that the Lord is able to do all things?" 1 N 7:12

Keep going, and do not stop. Stay strong. Stay faithful. Spread the spirit. Use The Internet For Good.
Doubt not but be believing. 

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Worsd of Mormon 1:7 "I do this for a wise purpose; for thus it whispereth me according to the spirit of the Lord which is in me. And now, I do not know all things; but the Lord knoweth all things which are to come; wherefore, he worketh in me to do according to his will."
2 N 3:24 do much good both in word and in deed, being an instrument in the hands of God, with exceeding faith, to work mighty wonders, and do that thing which is great in thesight of God.
1 N 9:5 ..the Lord hath commanded me...for a wise purpose in him, which purpose I know not. But the Lord knoweth all things.."

3 yr. Anniversary! "This Is Happiness"; NEW Video

I just reached my 3 year anniversary of being baptized to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints! Holy cow! I made a video with the Elder that baptized me, Elder Despain! Click here to watch my newest video, "This is Happiness; Baptism Anniversary." And be sure to 'share' it! That's what they are meant for. You never know who needs to hear it, you never know who you could help by those small and simple things. #UseTheInternetForGood

Since joining the church there has been a lot of hard times. A lot of changes. Trials. That's life. But because of getting baptized, because of the Gospel, because of Christ, not once- not even for a second, did that happiness go away. Not only that, but it got stronger, and stronger!

I feel like there is just so much that could have been said in the video that was made that wasn't. The Gospel is hands down, the biggest blessing there ever is. That this is the happiest I have ever been. And to know that, the best thing we could ever be, ever- is ourselves. That if we feel that Heavenly Father isn't using us to help His children, you're wrong. He loves His children so much, that He will, and is using your desires and efforts to profoundly help others and have us not even realize it. Our talents and our personalities are perfectly given to us for incredible reasons we may never understand.
As I look back on the past 3 years I am just amazed at where I am in life, the things I am doing and the person I am becoming. I am speechlessly grateful that we have a Father in Heaven that loves us and is there just to give us the best there is. It's a pattern in my life where I am asked to do something I don't know how to do, and even sometimes I don't really want to do. But what a blessing it is every single time when I follow through. To see the blessings and accomplishments. I am incredibly grateful things did not go the way that I had in mind, because things have been profoundly better.  I moved to Utah and I travel around the state giving Firesides, I make videos, and started writing a book, and I'm doing all of these incredible things. And I only say that because, I know there is more that I can be doing. And I know that the things that I am doing, I could be doing better at. But I know, that just by us trying, you will end up in places you never would have thought of. Doing things you never could have dreamed of. And becoming the person Heavenly father has wanted you to become all along. And what a feeling that is! All He asks of us is to turn to Him, and to try.

Take pride in who you are. You have God as your Father. You are great. And you will do great things.

Be sure to watch my video 'Continue' where it is all about receiving the best ever created, and pushing through those hard and trying times to receive something better. To receive the Best. And to know we are never shortchanged from the Best in anyway. Finding joy in the journey.

Watch my Dear Elder video, here. A Thank You video to Elders, for their efforts. "I am One of those Rescued."
Click here to read a letter I had to write to the Mission President right after my baptism, of what it is that caused me to get baptized.
Click here to watch a behind the scenes of us editing "This Is Happiness"
Click here to watch the video with Elder Despain, "This Is Happiness."
Follow me on Twitter. Email me to book firesides or with questions/comments.
I love hearing from you, you help me to keep going!
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